walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
The police scanner is talking about you again....
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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