So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize