It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
a search helicopter?!
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
