I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize