did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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