i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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