Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
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Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
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Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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