**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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