in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
