I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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