I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize