you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
