Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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