no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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