Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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