My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
