There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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