who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
