Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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