I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
