he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize
