I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize