How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
and you fell through a lawn chair
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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