another moral hangover. fuck.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
