THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
