I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
