they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
