so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
