Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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