Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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