im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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