Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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