exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
