is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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