Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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