is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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