remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Randomize
