oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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