I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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