my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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