apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
