Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
I'm really busy with my period
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