Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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