Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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