sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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