What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
