She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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