JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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