I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
