plz talk dirty to me
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize