i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
