I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
