I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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