Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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