you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She even gives head with a lisp.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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