he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
