i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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