I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
