i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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