OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Randomize
