When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You're a waste of cheezeits
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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