I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
