I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
