your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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