You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
